How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You by Matthew Inman (from The Oatmeal)

From the New York Times best-selling author of 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth, I have the pleasure to introduce you to How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.



If your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. He is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn’t a gift. It’s a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is an offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at

This book presents fan favorites, such as “Cat vs. Internet”,”How to Pet a Kitty,” and “The Bobcats,” plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes.

From Goodreads

I fell with this book from the moment I saw it standing on a shelf at my local bookstore. I literally run for it, grabbed it and said: I need this one, Fae! And guess what? I got it!

“How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You” published by Andrews McMeel Publishing (2012)

How to Tell If Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You is an in-depth study that exposes the shocking secret that felines across the world are planning a mass takeover of the planet. Why none of the world leaders have been talking about this situation is a mystery, especially since cats seem very well placed to activate their global attack at any moment.

(Oh my god, there’s even one of them in my house! But I think it’s okay; I’m typing this from a different room, and I think she’s asleep. If you’re reading this then I made it long enough to post it and I will hopefully survive the incoming Human VS Cat war.)

As I was reading this awesome graphic novel, my cute cat was watching me. I tried to follow some of the tips from the book, but it was hard to tell what her eyes were telling me…
If you have ever owned or currently own a fur ball of death, this graphic novel is for you. It will give you some good lessons on how to tame the beast inside your house. Trust me it’s really funny and fast reading and you will finish it in a few hours. There are really good charts for understanding your cat’s eyes and ears. However, my cat’s facial expressions are still as enigmatic as they used to be.


from The Oatmeal


Just remember, dear cats, I am the one feeding you, the one who buys the food and the guy who opens the cans for you. Until you grow thumbs, I think the cans are going to be a bit of a problem.


If you want to survive the HumanVSCats war, click here:

The Book Depository


3 Comments Add yours

  1. This can be simplified.

    1. Have you fed your cat recently?

    YES: You’re safe.
    NO: Your cat is plotting to kill you.

    Liked by 1 person

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